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Chelsea, Liverpool and more: What do Premier League managers want for Christmas? [Part Two]

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As the Premiership players cast an envious eye over at the other major leagues of Europe all winding down for Christmas, and they mull over their own hectic multiple game routine, perhaps they need to be offered some crumb of comfort. Sure, they’re all millionaire playboy ne’er-do-wells, but even bad children get presents. Or, umm, maybe they don’t. But either way, I’m going to award each club one anyway, so here’s part two of the list! [Part one here!]

Chelsea:

It’s been a strange old year for Chelsea. All of Roman’s pleading Christmas lists finally got answered with a Champions League win, and then as if to re-balance the karma of the world, the fans were left seething as they ended up with Rafa as gaffer. For a club that changes its manager faster than BBC Commissioners, Chelsea are going to get a long term vision in their stocking.

Everton:

David Moyes has produced a fast, skilful, combative (literally in Fellaini’s case) team that have raised both eyebrows this season. It’s a shame that giving money at Christmas is such a faux pas, because that would be ideal. So instead of directly giving them cash, let’s get them on the money merry-go-round of the Champions League. They can have fourth spot, and let’s hope they don’t get another Villarreal…

Fulham:

40 Gauloises and large glass of red wine for Dimitar Berbatov. Anything to keep him happy and in the Premiership. Fulham might well be in freefall at the moment, and a bored, stroppy maestro might not have the best suited skillset for a dogfight, but he’s just so lovely to watch.

Liverpool:

Oh Brendan, I so want you to be a genius, one of the next great managers. But I keep seeing that giant picture of yourself hanging in your living room, and it brings a touch of absurdity into your character. However, you seem so close to the right formula at Anfield, that I’ll give you a striker for Christmas. Anyone but Sturridge though. The thought of having both him and Suarez spending all game with their head down and refusing to pass, as the rest of the team shout ‘SQUARE IT!!’ is too much to bear.

Sunderland

When Steven Fletcher plays, he more often than not scores goals. When he doesn’t, Sunderland look like they’re playing an elaborate game of defensive overloading, where they’ve totally forgotten the requirement for goals at the other end. But he’s an injury prone soul, so the Black Cats are going to get a giant roll of cotton wool to wrap him up in, both during and after games.

Swansea:

I’m not sure that Michael Laudrup needs any presents, he seems to be able to get his own at vastly discounted rates. £2 million for Michu as been the steal of the season, and Pablo Hernandez is another glorious budget La Liga purchase. Some more of those, to truly turn Swansea into the Barcelona of the north would be most welcome. And if rumours are to be believed, where better to start than David Villa?

More from Nick Bell @tracking_back

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