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Made in Chelsea? More like The Only Way is the Exit Door

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I never thought I would say it, especially given their fortunes over the last decade, but Chelsea are on the slide. Just as fast as they gobbled up trophies and talent at the beginning and middle of the last decade, it seems to be all slipping away with an equal decline. Just what is causing Chelsea to stutter as much as they have this season?

Knee-jerk reactions point the finger directly at the man in charge; André Villas-Boas. At thirty four, he’s only twelve months older than his most senior players, with egos as big as Didier Drogba, Frank Lampard, and John Terry (especially John Terry), can the guy really command his dressing room with the intimidation of a Alex Ferguson, or a Kenny Dalglish? Sure, supporters of Villas-Boas will argue that age is not an issue in the modern game; Pep Guardiola and José Mourinho are glistening beacons to the idea that you don’t have to be old enough to attain Lordship in order to be a successful manager.

He’s certainly learnt from the best, being a protegé of Bobby Robson and Mourhino, but the key ingredient in the successful managerial cake that Villas-Boas lacks is that he has the omnipotent, but mind-bogglingly fickle Roman Abramovich constantly watching over his every move. Guardiola and Mourhino have the full backing of their owners, even if results go a bit Fred West from time to time. Villas-Boas is constantly referred to as “the under pressure Chelsea manager”, a tautology; anyone who has been at the helm of the West London club over the past eight years will testify that every single one of them has been under pressure to perform well from their perma-stubbled Ruskie owner.

I’d be willing to bet that every single one of them too would admit that if the pressure was off, and they were allowed free rein of the club they were managing, the trophies would have fallen into place in time. Abramovich is too wrapped up in the idea that pumping money into something will grant him instant success, and the moment results start turning against him then the manager simply isn’t good enough. Surely a World cup winning coach, a treble winner, and a two time European cup winning manager have the capabilities, given the time, to bring success to the club. Evidentially not under their Russian rule.

On the subject of Russian rule, it probably hasn’t helped that Abramovich has intermittently stepped in and decided that he wants to direct where his money is going. Much like Man City now, when Chelsea first started buying up scores and scores of talent, I didn’t like it one bit. But whilst Man City are in the business of buying up talent to purposely push out their opponents, Chelsea were actually intent on setting up a team who would compete (key word; COMPETE) for their success, and that’s where my respect lies with Chelsea and not Man City in the sugar daddy stakes. That said, Abramovich has stepped in on occasion and just as easy as it is to do on the latest Fifa or Football Manager game, he has decided that he wants to buy a name; regardless of price.

Alarm bells are ringing and the name that comes to mind in every Chelsea fan’s mind immediately is Fernando Torres. Fifty million pounds, for a player who hasn’t been remotely decent for around two and a half years; the guy could have bought fifty solid gold statues of the most desirable women in the world to get jiggy with for that kind of money. Abramovich doesn’t care, fifty million is pittance to him, but fifty million pounds that Chelsea fans, deep down in their hearts will know has been wasted (especially when they could have saved fifteen million for a nice swimming pool and bought Sergio Aguero instead).

Abramovich should have learned from the last time he stepped in and demanded to buy one Andriy Shevchenko that he doesn’t have the wisest footballing knowledge. It’s this that remains one of Chelsea’s biggest flaws; admittedly the guy is entitled to do whatever the hell he wants, Chelsea is his plaything and it’s his money that’s being spent, but for the most part if the guy does want to spend ridiculous amounts of money on players, then give the money to the guys that know what to do best with it; the managers.

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