Unless your Arsene Wenger, the man who does Spurs’ last minute paper work or the Sky reporter who stand outside Wigan in the pissing rain waiting for a player who never arrives whilst tramps shout abuse at you after 10 cans of Super Kestrel it’s the best day of the summer: transfer deadline day. I’ve never been a fan of the transfer window as I don’t think it is particularly fair or makes much sense but let’s be honest; you cannot beat the drama of transfer deadline day. It’s the soap opera that many football fans enjoy from the tension whether the big deal will or won’t happen or the pure frustration of the lack of activity at your club (and believe me as a Newcastle fan, takeaways have been thrown) it’s always gripping.
However hopefully this year Sky Sports coverage can focus more on transfer updates rather than talking to that fat bloke, in the studio who seems to love the fact he’s got two phones. This year if he has anymore I’m really considering shopping him for looting in the riots, where I heard Shola Ameobi was arrested for throwing a brick at Curry’s window… and missing.
Spending vast amounts on transfer deadline day seems to now be the norm, Van Der Vaart, Torres, Carroll etc, the list is endless. If you’re lucky sometimes you pull off a swoop as Van Der Vaart has proved to be after Harry Redknapp pulled off some of that twitchy face charm to get him for £8 million, a snip in today’s market. However on other occasions a manager’s or owner’s desperation can get the better of them and your team ends up signing a player such as Amdy Faye, who has had so many moves especially on deadline day he must just live in a caravan waiting for his agent to give him a postcode for the next 6 months of his career.
Also prepare yourself for the rumours, endless and ridiculous as this is the only day of the year the number of cab drivers available seem to rise into the thousands and guess what… they are all at the airport waiting to pick up a player who is moving clubs.
The best rumour of this transfer window this far has to be that Jermaine Defoe was in a cab waiting to be unveiled at half time of the Newcastle vs. Fulham game on Saturday; the slight problem being at the time he was on the bench for Spurs in their match against Man City. So unless Daniel Levy wasted Spurs entire transfer budget building the TARDIS that has to go down as the worst transfer rumour of the summer. Unless you include that one about Michael Owen getting a contract extension at Manchester United, hang on…
So my tips for this transfer deadline day would be get some takeaway menus, some beer in the fridge and stick Sky Sports News at the first available moment. But if you want my advice the best time to watch is usually at the start when not much is going on, nothing better than seeing breaking news with a players whose name sounds made up going on a free transfer to Crawley. Please enjoy your transfer window deadline day but just remember it can be tougher for some, such as Arsene Wenger who I last heard was trying to convince his board he can’t spend because his transfer funds as they were looted in the recent riots.
Oh and by the way, if you do read this and by some small miracle actually enjoy it, please follow me on twitter at @liamcj19. Cheers.
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