Dear diary. It is David. David De Gea.
I have recently moved from the city of Madrid to the city of Manchester for a new job.
A new position opened in my field of work when the Head of my current company decided to retire.
Including myself, we have 11 branch managers, who work weekly to put together a presentation that needs to impress 76,000 customers on a weekly basis. It is not easy.
My boss has white hair, and is 69 years old. He looks nice but my employee’s tell me to be careful for his hair dryer(?) I do not get this joke because my hair is perfect.
I cannot speak English, but I am learning a few words from my new friends. Senor Vidic has told me that when I need to apologize to my boss, Mr. Ferguson, the polite English way is to call him a “wank” or telling him to “piss-off”. Maybe I can offer him some authentic Spanish cinnamon gum. He likes gum. I have yet to try.
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Other than “Chicharito” no one else speaks my language, and I feel lonely. My girlfriend who happens to be beautiful came to visit me on Sunday. It was nice. She wanted to have sex with me on Sunday night, but I had a presentation the following day. The roar of a displeased crowd was too loud in my head for me to wake up little “De Gea”. The weather is a little cold, and it rains a lot here. I miss home. A lot of customer’s hate me. They have not been impressed by my contribution to my company, and I think they want me fired. I would drink away my sorrows, but my birthday isn’t for another 3 months, and I’m underage.
I’m wondering something. What is a werewolf? My teammates keep calling me that. But they laugh, so it must mean something fun. I like to have fun. I also have an employee in my division named Anders Lindegaard. He always offers me bagels in the morning. One time, I found a thumb tack inside it. I don’t think he likes me very much.
Anyway, I have to go. Senor Ferdinand is teaching me how to work this thing called…Twitter(?)
P.S. – What is Jumaji? I have not yet seen this picture, but many say I’m a children actor.
I wuh like Yey
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