Guest writer Iain Anderson, of Why Say Anything fame, give his take on Sky Sports’ Premier League coverage of Sunday’s games and the seemingly unlucky presence of Dwight Yorke.
Sky Sports’ Super Sunday games saw a return to the studio for Dwight Yorke, international playboy and one time footballer. The Tobagonian was there to offer his views on two of his former clubs. He looked as though he had been generated by computer and was wearing clothes chosen by the player of the game who controls him. You know the ones, where you can choose different combinations of ties, jackets and trousers and always pick the gaudiest.
I pay slightly more attention to what is said when Dwight is on screen. What is always of interest to me is how many times he answers a question by not answering a question. In other words, when asked something Dwight tends to say the first thing that comes into his head. Sometimes this will vaguely answer a question, other times it will have nothing to do with the question. Whichever, he always manages to get the word “absolutely” into his first sentence which, to boring old writers like me is like a bone to a dog. If I was that way inclined I could sit and count how many times he used it. I’m not that way inclined but he was well into double figures by the end of the programme.
First up was Sunderland, who Dwight graced with his presence for the short time when Roy Keane was the manager, and an even shorter time when he wasn’t. Having got them into the Premier League, Keano decided that he needed a bit of experience to keep them there and who better than Yorkie? Whether Keano called him Yorkie or Yorkie called him Keano is a matter of speculation but, as former team mates, I like to think the familiarity remained. Anyway, Dwight remained for two years and played 59 games for them.
So to the game and, after a rousing performance against Tottenham where they managed to hit the post and the bar and generally do everything pretty well except score, they succumbed to a reasonable finish from Ryan Mason at a point in the match when there was little time to react. Not being used to still being in the ground at this late point in the game, the Sunderland fans realised that their team was going to lose again and started to leave. They will have left a little more positively than usual because, in fairness, Sunderland deserved something out of the game even if only a point.
The second game saw Leicester City take on Aston Villa. Villa was Dwight’s first club and he spent nine years there before moving to Manchester United in 1998. He spent only four years at United but constantly refers to them as “we”. Yet when referring to Aston Villa, he calls them “Aston Villa”, “Villa” or occasionally “absolutely Aston Villa”. Proving nothing really other than loyalty is to the club who pays you to be an Ambassador and travel the world doing very little, not to the club where you spent nine “wonderful” years, as they nearly always say.
Anyway, this was a much more entertaining game unless you are a Villa fan, or Dwight Yorke. Having taken a two goal lead with excellent goals from Jack Grealish and Carles Gil, Villa then proceeded to throw the game away. With only about eighteen minutes remaining on the clock, they managed to concede three goals. At the beginning of the game the commentator remarked that this was an opportunity for Joleon Lescott and Micah Richards to show Manchester City why they were wrong to sell them. What they did was basically rubber stamp the deals and prove that, in actual fact, Manchester City were quite right to sell the pair of them.
During the rest of his career, Dwight also played for Blackburn Rovers, Birmingham City and Sydney FC. He spent a year back home with Tobago United but didn’t play a game for them. They have now disbanded.
Having witnessed first hand the effect Dwight Yorke has on the luck of his former teams when he is present, Blackburn Rovers and Birmingham City will be quite relieved that, as they are in the Championship, they are unlikely to be commented upon by him during a live game. As for Sydney FC, they must be very pleased to be situated halfway round the world and out of reach of Mr. Jinx.
Hes a red and forgets who gave him his big chance in the prem.same man who said the micah richards penalty appeal v united was never a pen.Take off your red spectacles dwight and please dont have the biased red commentating or playing pundit on anymore villa games.